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Thursday, March 30, 2006
i think i'm really in a dream
mayb the SMU profs were right. ur living in a dream. and in this dream u can still dream. it sucks in a way...really. sometimes dun u wonder why ur even here. like ur presence even matters.

someone told me sth i can't forget yest. abt how we always pray and ask Him to show us His will for our life. but suddenly u realise...its not His will for OUR life. but more of His will and how OUR life fits arnd it. to fill that empty space in that big jigsaw he has in mind..to create a complete picture.

i really wish someone would juz be able to listen to me and act. understand wads going on rather than the whole thing going in a whole cycle again. wads Dav doing in Taiwan at this time man. At least i still haf XH. :)


Juannnn [1:17 PM]
___makee a wiish___


Wednesday, March 29, 2006
dreams...
i'm DEAD. dun understand why i dun need to go to sch but i'm like more tired than ever everyday. went for SMU interview today...haha it realli made me think a lot. even till this pt in time. Two Ang Moh Profs interviewed me. and they asked...How do u tell the diff. between dreams and reality. ok so i answered. obviously theres a diff. somehow right. and they asked me how do u know tt ur not in a dream urself now. and mayb its possible to dream in a dream. act the truth is. sometimes dun u think this way too? like do u expect to wake up all of a sudden and realise ur whole life's been a BIg dream. mayb it is kinda. when u finally go to heaven. tts when ur dream's over and ur alarm clock rings. and it led to the question of how did u even know theres such a thing called dream. so u hear frm ppl, theres scientific evidence and so on. so how did the ppl b4 u know abt it? frm the ppl b4 them right? so it led us to Adam. haha and they asked. So how did Adam learn there was such a thing called dreams. now din God impart tt knowledge in him? juz like him being able to tell right frm wrong. so it leads me to this stumbling question. Do u think God dreams. HAHA. i literally wanted to laugh when they asked me tt. I mean obviously God's God for a reason right. but i'm really glad i din pon the interview. act it kinda gave me a new view at SMU. perhaps SMU ain't TT bad afterall.

so i went to meet Lizzie and XH and XH's FREN alwyn at lot1. went to eat suki sushi BUFFET! wah i was freaking full. but damn tired somehow. so i went home to sleep and overslept making myself late for training at safra! and i had no dinner...grr. i dunno but i juz get a bad vibe when i go there somehow. i dunno why. its juz this natural instinct i haf tt tells me to be wary. wierd. perhaps i'll know soon. but i seriously can't feel my forearm anymore. its hurting like crap somehow right at the joint.

i think today's like the first day in quite some time tt i'm feeling clear of my troubles and i can finally feel peace. which is gd in a way. so God answered my prayers.:)

long day tmr...gonna get my piano ballet pay FINALLY! haha. ok zzz.


Juannnn [1:31 AM]
___makee a wiish___


Sunday, March 26, 2006
squash...n squash...n MORE squash...
i'm freaking tired out...physically. played frm 3-7 juz now...at safra. first time i went down to train under them. i think sometimes my mind's a mess as well. like one moment i juz tell myself how much i can't stand training and squash is juz gonna be my leisure sport. but i realli miss those times. even as i was damn tired juz now. i realli dun mind killing my body physically for another match. theres juz this adrenaline rush tt nth but being able to execute tt shot u wanted to do. haha. yea i'm a happy person tonight man...

lots happened yest. stuff cleared...but stuff started. and some stuff. its juz stuck in the middle. neither cleared but alr. started. i realli hope tt my decision was right. i mean if i were to consider myself only, i'll choose the stubborn option, but i din...coz isn't this whole world connected...i can be stubborn all i wan but it wun change anythin and instead juz burden myself and others. tts y i chose not to...ok?

without Him...realli nth is possible...but yet many a times why do i feeel i can't realli sense a certain hunch of wad He's trying to tell me to do. Everytime i decide on sth. i'm juz worried wad if my decision was based on my human want and not His. but i guess its a risk all of us has to undergo.

are girls realli scary creatures? i neva thought so. but evidence juz proves it wrong. like seriously. when u first think of wad might happen u tell urself so positively i will do tt and i wun do tt. but when ur realli in that situation 99.99% of the time. it juz happens and u dun even get to think WHAt u need to do. coz u alr. acted without knowing. and usually in the most absurd way u can't imagine urself. confused.


Juannnn [12:34 AM]
___makee a wiish___


Friday, March 24, 2006
bored. confused.

while i haf a few more months to go...i haf absolutely NO idea how i should spend it. i mean its gd to be able to slack at home everyday. but its juz simply boring and monotonous after a while. but that stupid tuition job wouldn't allow me to take up a 9-5 job. and neither do i wan a desk job.

how do u define GOOD FRIEND. Is it right to expect frm a friendship? i mean yea obviously everyone has their own expectations, but is it right to expect and when u dun get wad u expect get upset. Seriously i feeel this kinda thing can't be measured. How can u tell wad exactly u want. shouldn't u let ur friendship juz flow naturally and let it improve. It takes time to blossom no matter wadd isn't it? You can't force a flower to bloom overnight. As much as u can't expect wad u want to see frm a friendship appear overnight either. right right?.

As i said even as i'm super bored. its ironic how come the things on my mind juz increase. I'm realli saturated and tired mentally alr. anyway enuff of tt. First time i went to test drive cars with Gerald and John juz now. rather shiok lar...as much as i dun realli like the mini cooper it has a rather cute interior. haha. feel as though ur in cartooon world.


Juannnn [12:07 AM]
___makee a wiish___


Monday, March 20, 2006
photos!
sentosa pics!

Misc pics!


Juannnn [3:35 PM]
___makee a wiish___


tired!!!
its 3.16pm and i'm still eating my lunch. can't believe it. i actually woke up at 1.30pm. haha. dunno how i survived church yest. after 3 hrs of sleeep the night b4.

music retreat was quite fun...minus the teasing and bullying frm SOME ppl. and it actually made me change some perspectives and impressions i had of ppl...and i wondered a few times...if not for the retreat would i even get to know this person etc etc. it was a rather refreshing experience i guess. and we got to trash some stuff out. haha.

haven blogged for a super long time...anyway i finished learning driving! but the test is so super far away in July...and i still haven gotten down to applying to NTU and SMU...dun understand why they require irritating essayss...


Juannnn [3:19 PM]
___makee a wiish___







Hui Juan
nineteen
16 Dec 1987
Loves:
God
Family
Friends
Squash
BPPS.SCGS.ACJC
Youth Explorer - COGS



____f r i e n d s*
x VicValiXiaohuiJuan
x My Cell'04
x Abz
x Abraham
x Amanda
x AC Squash
x Ben Low
x Charissa
x Danvin
x Derrick
x Dexter
x Drey
x Gerald
x Huimin
x Ian
x Ivan
x Joash
x Joshua
x Joel Pang
x Joel Tan
x Judy
x Kenneth
x Li En
x Lynn
x Mao Yuan
x Mel Goh
x Rach Ang
x Roxanne
x Shao Min
x Shivali
x Shir
x Shu En
x Shu Min
x Stella
x Stephanie
x Yan Leen

_____p h o t o s*

x Adelaide'05(1)
x Adelaide'05(2)
x AC Open House'04
x AC Squash
x Baccalaureate '05
x B-day pics '05
x Boon's B-day'06
x Cambodia
x Colours'04
x Family
x Hong Kong '06(1)
x Hong Kong '06(2)
x Japan'04(1)
x Japan'04(2)
x Mel's B-day '05
x Miscellaneous
x OG'04
x Prize Giving'05
x Rojak
x Senior's Night '05
x Sentosa
x Squash Camp '04
x Squash Camp'05
x Squash(KL-Milo All Star'04)
x Squash(KL'03)
x SD4('04-'05)
x XH's B-day
x Youth Explorer
x Ye Dinner
x Ye Famday/treetop/pathlight
x game

_____m e mo r i e s*
x December 2004
x January 2005
x February 2005
x March 2005
x April 2005
x May 2005
x June 2005
x July 2005
x August 2005
x September 2005
x October 2005
x November 2005
x December 2005
x January 2006
x February 2006
x March 2006
x April 2006
x May 2006
x June 2006
x July 2006
x August 2006
x September 2006
x October 2006

_____c r e di t s*
x Joel Tan
x blogspot
x blogskins
x xl0nestarrs-

 



Centre Of My Life




 

 

 

 

 

Let my walk speak loud

And my words be true

Let my life be whole

With my eyes on you

 


Lord I'm stepping out

From the comfort zone

Letting go of me

Holding on to You

 

 



Freedom comes

When I call you Lord

You are Lord, my God


 



You are the centre of it all

The universe declares in awe

Your majesty, I surrender all



I make You the centre of my life

Lord I respond with all I am

You placed in me the song

Of heaven's melody



Your Majesty

I live to sing Your song


 


 

 

 



 

 

I have found Your peace

It replaces anything

You have done it all

I can trust in You


 

So I'm stepping out

From the comfort zone

Letting go of me

Holding on to You

 

 



Freedom comes

When I call you Lord

You are Lord, my God


 



 

You are the centre of it all

The universe declares in awe

Your majesty, I surrender all



I make You the centre of my life

Lord I respond with all I am

You placed in me the song

Of heaven's melody



Your Majesty

I live to sing Your song



 


 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 


 

This is Your song, not mine

This is Your song

That brings healing to this land

 

 

 

This is Your song, not mine

This is Your song

That brings freedom


 

 

This is Your song, not mine

This is Your song

That brings healing to this land

 

 

This is Your song, not mine

This is Your song

That brings freedom

 

 


 

Freedom comes

When I call you Lord

Freedom comes

When I call you Lord

You are Lord, my God


 



 

You are the centre of it all

The universe declares in awe

Your majesty, I surrender all

 



I make You the centre of my life

Lord I respond with all I am

You placed in me the song

Of heaven's melody




Your Majesty

I live to sing Your song

 

Your Majesty

I live to sing Your song

 

Your Majesty

I live to sing Your song

 

Your Majesty




My life will sing Your song!